Benjamin facilitated a session inspired by BMC work and based on the event of conceptions.
Before we explored actively, Benjamin gave us a summary about the physiology and mythology of conception making especial reference to the polarities between the sperm cells and the egg cell.
The following are my own notes following the session:
- Not really knowing and being okay with it.
- Maybe the main challenge is to actually stay with that place of now knowing and being okay with it.
- Maybe finding it too soon becomes just an strategy that leads us to think what is going on, when actually I cannot know if it is going on.
- Too much thinking about rather than experiencing… vs. Not even thinking about it…
They all were egg. We are much more egg than sperm… although we are not that either… it’s been a long time since the molecules that formed it have been replaced, but the egg was the first house as well as the half of the host and the visitor. The other half host-visitor composite is arriving. Without it the house isn’t completed, it isn’t a house in itself.
- I can be the egg inside of me, I can contain it.
- I can be the egg itself.
- I can exist within the egg.
The egg is so enormous that my identity can get lost in its entire cytoplasm. Am I the nucleus? I don’t think so, I don’t think I’m even the nucleus… Myself as egg is just this quasi-inexistent and adimensional point which isn’t anywhere in concrete apart from being within the egg.
I’m here, wherever that is, and the egg exists until the very limits of the space I can dear to concieve in my consciousness… or even further than that. The limits of what it is egg are so far away that I can’t barely have an intuition of them. It’s as far as the moon is for me right now.
- I wanted to be the egg. I wanted to be so much what a male-oriented society may have impose in us thinking that the egg is just a vessel and the sperm is the seed responsible for life. I don’t want to be the sperm simply because I’m the man… althought, Am I a man? The bipolarity is just an illusion – not unreal but too simplistic.So when I think that the walls of what I am are so unreachable I become this other. The sperm… after all there must be common features between egg and sperm.
Are the nucleus of the one and of the other same?
Sperm and Egg were originally the same, in the sense that they come from the same kind of stem cell.
What do we do without introductions?
How do we take responsibility (for ourselves)?
What if every single bit of you kept on going… changing place in space. Every single bit – all of it.
What if breathing never stopped, ever.
What if it can always and only be faster than before and never ever slower than it was.
What if there is no end to the boundaries of my… self – if the skin is no virtual interface – if I were blending into the universe (understood as everything else other than I) and at the same time the universe blends in me… because we (the universe and I) are simply I and I am dissolved in each other.
What if this were ecstatic essence.